I have many friends who use online dating sites as a vehicle to meet women. If anything, I think it’s a great tool because of its efficiency, ease of use, and simplicity. A lot of my guy friends have had a lot of success through online dating. Many of them using vehicles such as OKCupid, POF, and Tinder. I myself have had a lot of success with it (hence making a product about it) but saying that, I’ve seen obsessive use of online dating sites kill results and personal growth.
Personally, I’ve been down this road as well where online dating became counter-productive. A lot of people don’t know but for a guy, it can get extremely addictive and obsessive if used the wrong way. So, to introduce this blog and my upcoming product, I wanted to create a guide on how to properly use online dating sites. I also wanted to dispel any myths or misconceptions regarding online dating for men.
There is no point where online dating outweighs real life interactions.
If you’re on online dating sites 24/7 there’s something very much wrong. I have a couple of friends that have used online dating as a substitute for real life interactions. One thing that has held true about them was their social skills in regards to interacting with women fell off big time. They became overly aggressive, overly eager, and quite honestly, perv-y beyond belief. Their interaction skills severely lacked when it came to actually interacting with gorgeous women in real time, in other words. The amount of un-calibration was cringe-worthy and quite honestly, hard to watch. Note: these are guys have been meeting gorgeous women for years and by no means, are inexperienced. A lot of the times, the rejections that followed their un-calibrated behaviour were just as or if not more cringe-worthy.
Another pattern I seen in these guys was extreme laziness and weak willpower. I don’t mean weak, I mean really weak. They would skip out on social events to stay inside and sleep. They only wanted the easy things in life and never challenged themselves. They would lose their motivation to become better with women. They simply lose their drive. It’s funny because a lot of them would tell me that they spend too much time on online dating sites but still continue to do so. Honestly, the fact that they rely so much on dating sites is painful to hear. I can honestly say that it has severely crippled a lot them.
Most hot, in-demand gorgeous women aren’t on online dating websites.
This isn’t to say that attractive women aren’t on dating sites, cause they are, but most of them aren’t actively on it. Think about it… why would an attractive woman really need to be on a online dating website? She gets approached on a daily basis. She’s in-demand and pursued by countless amount of men. So, why would she be looking on a dating site for guys? Point is, she wouldn’t. You may get lucky and have the select few on there but honestly, there’s a couple of reasons why your chances in real life are so much higher.
First off, she’s getting hundreds of messages daily from hundreds of guys. The more attractive she is the more messages she gets. You are just one guy in a pool of hundreds of other guys. I’m not trying to be pessimistic here, heck, I know for a fact that it’s possible to get these girls out on dates. It’s just in the case of online dating, it’s an unnecessary uphill battle. Take it from me, meeting really, really gorgeous women in real life is much easier than online.
Side note: If you’re on Tinder, majority of the really hot gorgeous women you’ll will be matching with are either trying to get you buy their “services” or robots that want you to sign up for porn sites. Either way, if you do any of the two, you’re going to have to cough up some doe. FYI: Online dating and real life interactions are free… for the most part.
You have more volume of gorgeous women in real life.
Let’s face it, most gorgeous women aren’t at home on waiting on Tinder for your message. They’re not waiting for their next message from the two-hundredth guy either. They’re out and about doing things in the real world. They’re shopping, they’re partying, they’re dating, they’re everywhere that you’re not (talking to the online warriors here). With that said, you need to be where the gorgeous girls are at and that’s… in the real world!
In reality, they’re doing things in the physical world and you should be too. There’s no reason why you should be stuck inside the house even if it’s cold. Fuck that noise. Do you want to get the girls or not? Then man up! If you truly want to create a life of abundance, you got to get off your ass. If you aren’t going out on a consistent basis then you’re losing. If you’re not going to get the girl, somebody else will. Time is not on your side. Time is against you. You miss your opportunity now, you’ll miss your opportunity forever. There’s no reset button.
When you’re online, you’re not sharping your conversational skills.
Being a good conversationalist on text messages doesn’t translate to being a good conversationalist in a real interaction. If your conversational skills are lacklustre in real life, no matter how good you are at text messaging, your results are going to suck. Period. Staying at home and sharping up your “Tinder skills” isn’t going to help you one bit. Online dating is suppose to compliment your real world approaching lifestyle, not necessarily substitute it if you aren’t a busy guy. If you’re absolutely busy and you need something to bypass the time or need something to accompany your busy lifestyle, that’s where online dating should come in.
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